Leah has been nominated for a National Magazine Award for Humour and would have been nominated for many more if the association had not eliminated the category because they’re mean.

How To Talk On The Phone (Chatelaine)

Do you see this weird buzzing box in your hand? Yes, it’s a bottomless portal to the parsing of horrifying world news and/or pictures of everybody’s #pandemicmuffins. But it is also a Phone, and you can talk on it—with your mouth.

Illustration: ERIN MCPHEE

Confession: I hate playing with my kid

While I adore my only child, there’s still a certain chill that crawls up my spine every time Ben starts calling out in a singsongy voice (you know, the kind you hear in horror movies with children who do terrible things): “Who-o-o wants to play with me?”

Confessions of a reluctant hockey mom

Come October, Jason and The Hockey Monster We Spawned will be donning their Montreal Canadiens jerseys and cuddling up on the couch in front of the TV for six months, while I grumble, ignored, in the background.

Sofa, you’re so bad

We find a less precious, modern stiff-backed number at a hip Queen West furnishings store. I drag Jason to Crate & Barrel over his protestations that this was clearly evidence that his life is over. Nope, none of those comfortable couches will do either. We start to despair that the détente will ever come to an end.